How to Relieve School Anxiety

Going back to school makes all children a little bit nervous. Many of them talk about “butterflies in their stomach” on that first day. For some children however, it can be more than that. Research shows that 13 out of 100 children experience anxiety disorder. Here are some tips that can help.

1. Treat our children as we’d like to be treated. The words, “Oh, just don’t worry” don’t work for us, nor should we expect that they will work for our children. We need to first validate our child’s fears by acknowledging the problem. Saying things like, “I can totally see where you are coming from” or “I can see how that may seem scary,” help to alleviate the anxiety that your child may be feeling.

2. Get your child to identify his/her specific fears. Ask, “What 3 things are you most worried about?” Naming the exact fears can help to diminish them a bit. Finding a regular time to talk to your child also makes him/her feel more secure. Whether it is in the car when you pick them up from school, or at night as you are tucking them in, having a specific time that your child can have your undivided attention is very helpful.

3. Get your child to focus on the positives of school as well. “What 3 things are you most excited about?” If your child can’t think of any, begin my naming a few suggestions… “Learning about Australia, using your brand new markers, playing kickball at recess, etc.”

4. Do some role-playing. Once you have some concrete examples of anxiety-provoking events, help your child figure out other ways to deal with them. Act out possible scenarios by having your child become the demanding teacher or the bully on the playground. Model appropriate responses so that your child can see firsthand how to handle these scary situations.

5. Finally, it is always a good idea to get some outside help. There are many wonderful children’s counselors in town who specialize in helping kiddos to cope with anxiety. Excel keeps a list on hand of counselors that many of our clients love and enjoy.

Books to Read:
Freeing Your Child from Anxiety By Tamar E. Chansky, Ph.D.;
The Pressured Child; Helping Your Child Find Success in School and Life By Michael Thompson, Ph.D., with Teresa Barker.